UFOs

Helen’s UFO…

We were going to talk about UFOs.

Scott: Yeah yeah yeah yeah…

What is a UFO?

Scott: Eh… An Unidentified Flying Object.

Yes, but what is it?

Scott: (pause) There haven’t been any sightings, so we don’t know.

People have seen them.

Scott: Well, fakes.

How do you know they’re fakes?

Scott: There was stuff like mistakes – like clouds and fireworks that didn’t pop and… That’s a few of the basic mistakes.

Are they not spaceships?

Scott: Fake. Clouds and fireworks that didn’t explode – would you call that a spaceship?

So do you not believe aliens exist?

Scott: Well… Saying… I sort of do, just that there’s… Not very much proof. You know what I mean?

I do. What do you think aliens would look like?

Scott: Well… Nobody knows, nobody cares – sausages on legs!

Helen: You don’t want one of them! Choose me – I’m only 1p.

Gran and Grandpa saw a UFO.

Scott: Did they? I don’t believe you. How is that true?

When we were on holiday when I was little, one appeared and they saw it.

Scott: Did you see it?

No, I missed it because I was inside playing Space Invaders.

Scott: And that guy’s playing a video game!

Helen: If you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.

Scott: I’m not going to put one on you.

Helen, what’s a UFO?

Helen: Things that aliens live in.

Scott: An alien might be hitching a ride.

Helen: It has beds in.

…And Scott’s.