What will we talk about, then?
Helen: Kippers.
Scott: Why should we talk about kippers?
What are kippers, Helen?
Helen: Actually, no. I don’t want to talk about kippers, it’s a stupid idea.
What will we talk about instead?
Scott: Hmm… Toothbrushes?
Helen: Nah, that’s boring.
Scott: If you’ve got a better idea…
Helen: Bees.
Scott: Hilarious…
Helen: Daddy, can we talk about bees?
Scott: Hilarious…
Unless Scott’s got any better ideas?
Scott: Hmm… What about ghosts?
Okay – what is a ghost?
Scott: Eh… Let’s say, just a living dead person.
Are they real?
Scott: Hmm… Depends.
Helen: No.
Scott: I guess you don’t believe in ghosts… Depends if you believe in ghosts or not.
Helen: I believe in Jesus. Lulu’s says she’s a vegetarian because she doesn’t eat sausages or ham – she doesn’t eat anything that’s vegetarian.
Scott: So she doesn’t eat leaves or grass or carrots?
Helen: No, she doesn’t eat meat.
Scott: She could eat beef.
Helen: Beef’s meat.
Scott: What about pork?
Helen: Can’t eat that.
Scott: What about lamb?
Helen: Can’t eat that.
Scott: Hamburgers?
Helen: Can’t have that because she can’t eat ham.
Why do you believe in Jesus, Helen?
Helen: I don’t know – just do. I know Jesus is real.
Scott: How do you know?
Helen: I mean… I mean Tea-sus is real.