Motorbikes

Scott: Eh… Motorbikes, totally random.

What made you think about that?

Scott: Random.

Just popped into your head?

Scott: Yeah.

And can you do a good drawing of one?

Scott: I don’t know.

We’ll soon find out…

Scott: Yeah. At the moment, I’m considering the answer to be no. But you’re usually really, really over-optimistic about my drawing, so…

So what is a motorbike?

Scott: It’s a… In the name – a bike except… How can I put that? Except… I can’t really say electric because I don’t think it’s battery-powered – you know.

How fast do they go?

Scott: I don’t know – I’ve never been on one.

Are they dangerous?

Scott: Yes and no. Sometimes they’re not dangerous if you do it right…

Yeah…

Scott: But sometimes they are dangerous.

Would you like to ride one?

Scott: Not really.

Why not?

Scott: I don’t know – I’m just saying… It’s not really that good a thing to gamble your life on.

What would be?

Scott: I don’t know.

A car?

Scott: Yeah – that would be different because there’s less chance of you dying.

Cars

So we’re blogging about cars?

Scott: Yeah.

Why?

Scott: Well, not really any real reason – just thought of it and just thought it would be pretty good.

It’s a very good drawing.

Scott: Thanks.

The car’s got big wheels.

Scott: Yeah. Eh… Not really. Just normal wheels with invisible magnifying glasses on them. Well, not really – that just sounds funny.

Who’s in the car?

Scott: No-one really – just the guy in the back is hilarious. If you look at him very carefully, you’ll see his eyes have popped out.

Last time we spoke about cars, you complained about our old car.

Scott: Yeah – but now we’ve got a new one.

What was the problem with the old one?

Scott: It stinked.

Of what?

Scott: It just stinked. It wasn’t usually anything in particular.

Is the new one better?

Scott: Yeah.

Why?

Scott: Well, maybe more room.

Who invented cars?

Scott: I don’t know.

What’s the fastest car in the world?

Scott: I don’t know. Yes, I do read Guinness Book of Records, but I don’t… Just let me find out… (runs off and returns with Guinness Book of Records) It says… 412 kilometres an hour – 256.14 miles an hour on Highway 221, Washington USA.

That’s quite fast.

Scott: Okay, I’ll just tell you all the different car records…

Just tell me the other best one.

Scott: Here’s another one about fast ones… Average speed of 225 kilometres an hour, that’s 193 miles an hour…

That’s slower than the other one.

Scott: Is it? That’s because it’s the highest average speed of the steam car. The next one is an electric car: 487.672 kilometres an hour, that’s 303.25 miles an hour over two-way flying…

That’s very fast…

Scott: Yeah…

Cars

Scott: Cars. As in the things, not the movie.

Okay, tell me what a car is.

Scott: Something that you ride and that’s electrical and has four wheels. Has a steering wheel and you play Mario Kart and blah blah… One to five players…

Cars, not Mario Kart…

Scott: I didn’t say that, either. I only said Mario Kart once. Twice now.

Helen, what’s a car?

Helen: People drive in it.

Scott: I just said it first if you’d heard. What I said, you know it’d make sense.

What’s the fastest car in the world?

Helen: A motorbike.

Scott: A neutrino-powered super duper motorbike.

And what’s the slowest?

Helen: A ghost.

Scott: A horse-pulled wagon.

Is our car fast?

Scott: Normal – it stinks.

Would you like a new car?

Scott: Yes. I don’t know, tomorrow…

What’s the silliest car in the world?

Scott: A spaceship on wheels. No, hang on – here’s an even sillier one, a Lego car that adds all your silly details on to it.

Cars

Scott: Cars?

Cars?

Scott: Yes, cars as in vehicles.

Okay, what about them?

Helen: Well…

Scott: Eh… I was hoping you would ask the usual question.

Helen: Would you like to talk about it? Really really really?

Okay, what is a car?

Scott: A car is a vehicle.

Helen: Of course.

Scott: Basically, it’s a vehicle you drive.

Helen: You’ve got a steering wheel, seats…

Scott: Passengers…

Helen: And we’ve got a boot…

Scott: Not all cars have got boots you know, Helen.

Helen: Cars you know aren’t all the same colours.

What is a vehicle, then?

Scott: A mode of transport, basically.

Helen: Sometimes you can get a car in the museum, couldn’t you?

What kind of car?

Helen: Like a racing car or a normal car.

Why would a normal car be in a museum?

Helen: Well, if someone didn’t know what to do, they could go to the museum and look at it.

Do you like our car?

Helen: Yes.

Scott: Yes, even if it does get a little bit…

Helen: Thingy bad.

Scott: Even if it does get bad at times.

Helen: And we have to phone the AA.

Scott: I don’t mean that – I mean it smells.

Cars

 

Two cars - a normal one and a special one. Ours isn't pictured because "we don't have the right colour of green".

So you want to talk about cars?

Scott: Cars – just normal cars.

Helen: I mean cars too.

Scott: Just normal cars – the ones we ride in.

And what do you want to tell me?

Scott: Cars are very very fast and some are big and some are small.

What else?

Scott: Fast. Big and small. Sometimes they run out of their power.

Helen: Sometimes the tyres are too big.

Scott: And… sometimes they run out of power.

Is that all you want to tell me about cars?

Scott: No, I’m still thinking… Some are used in races… Some can go in water.

Helen: And some can go in toxic waste.

Some can go in water?

Scott: Yeah.

Which ones?

Scott: Eh… Special ones… Sort of… Ones that aren’t completely powered by electricity.

Have you seen one like that?

Scott: In a book, I have.

But not in real life?

Scott: No.

What’s your favourite car?

Scott: Oh… Oh… (long pause) Oh… I just… racing cars.

Helen: Me too – racing cars. My favourite one is Cars 2.

Scott: When you haven’t even watched it – you’re mad.

What’s your least favourite car?

Scott: Well…

Helen: I hate Cars 2.

Scott: I hate cars that are just normal.

Is our car okay?

Scott: Yes – it’s good, even though it’s a normal car.

What kind of cars aren’t normal?

Scott: Ones with bullets and ones that can go in water. Ones that can turn into submarines. Monster Trucks…

Our car definitely can’t do any of those things.

Scott: So I know it’s quite a normal one.