Boat trip

I was going to ask about your boat trip to the island today…

Helen: Good. All good things, all good things…

What was the island like?

Helen: Em… It was actually quite big compared to what I thought.

What was there to see on it?

Helen: There was a big ruined castle and a shop. Scott, what did you think was quite nice on the island?

Scott: The new update on Minecraft PE.

Helen: That was nothing to do with the island.

Scott: I bet there was someone who plays Minecraft on the island…

Did you see seals?

Helen: Yeah.

Scott: I liked the awkward moment seal…

Helen: When we were coming out, we saw one with a tiny head bobbing out. And millions of sausages.

Millions of sausages?

Helen: Scott thinks sausages are seals.

Scott: (whispering) She thinks sausages are seals – she’s nuts.

How many did you see?

Scott: A hundred billion trillion.

Helen: Scott’s right.

Mum: About 20.

Scott: Oh, right…

Is that the first time you’ve been on a boat?

Scott: Yeah.

Helen: Yeah, it was the first time I’ve been on a boat.

What about that boat in Castle Douglas?

Scott: First time I’ve been on a cruise, then…

Helen: That’s two fortune cookie things gone – someone loves you and you will be on a cruise.

Back home

Tell me how your short holiday was, then.

Scott: Yeah – it was okay.

Just okay?

Scott: Yeah, I’d say that. Probably just… Yeah, okay.

What was the best bit?

Scott: Em… Probably Cream O Galloway.

What did you do there?

Scott: Got ice cream, played, went on the flying fox, went on the giant toilet roll tube…

Was the death slide scary?

Scott: Yeah – it was pure evil. I must have gone down it at 60 miles an hour.

But it was fun?

Scott: That would be a new mode of travel.

People travelling by toilet roll tube?

Scott: Oh, come on – if you made it comfortable, it would be worth it. It would be like trains, basically – except way faster. Except it would all have to be downhill, apart from a wee three metres.

You caught newts, too.

Scott:Yeah, that was great.

How many did you catch?

Helen: We caught nine the second time.

Scott: And I’d say I caught five. And you’re not in this blog, Helen – remember?

That’s much more than I’ve ever caught.

Scott: You haven’t caught any at all, Bub.

Did I not catch one?

Scott: Well, no – that was the one I caught.

And you were at a water park today.

Scott: Yeah.

Fun?

Scott: Yeah.

And you had fish and chips?

Scott: Yeah.

How was that?

Scott: Really good.

And you went to the Museum.

Scott: Did I? Oh yeah…

So marks out of 10 for the trip?

Scott: Eh… Nine.

Wow, that’s high.

Scott: It would have been 10 if it wasn’t for that death slide.

And we go away on proper family holiday in nine days.

Scott: Yeah!

Back home

So, good to be back home after our holiday?

Scott: Yes.

Why?

Scott: Well… Well… Well, it’s great… Like, em, being able to like…

Helen: Have new beds?

Scott: I was going to say – to be able to know everywhere that’s around, rather than… Not knowing where you are really, if you know what I mean?

I do, but did you have a good holiday?

Scott: Yeah.

What did you like best?

Scott: Probably… Having a gigantic garden.

Helen: Bigger than Harvey’s.

Scott: Yes, that’s good.

Helen: But you didn’t get to see the bit up there.

Scott: Yes I did, poo brain.

Do you want to go back to Castle Douglas again?

Scott: Lancaster was better.

Helen: I agree. No, I don’t agree. Because I want to have the room to me and you. I’d like to have our bunk beds in separate rooms – I’d like them in the same room. But apart. I got quite lonely when I had them in separate rooms…

Scott: (singing) Lonely, I’m so lonely…

Holiday…

Getting the boat to Threave Castle…

2-8-2012

We went swimming today.

Scott: Oh… Yeah.

How was it?

Scott: Eh… Good.

What did you do?

Scott: Eh… Went down the flumes a few times, and I deliberately made it really, really slow.

How did you do that?

Scott: Waited for you to go, even though you told me to go in.

And you slowed yourself down?

Scott: Nope – I stopped completely.

How did you do that?

Scott: I though it was a little bit obvious when I’d stopped because all the water would make a blocked noise… So I put two feet on either side of the slide and my hands just above the water, so I was off the water.

And how long did you stay there for?

Scott: About 20 seconds.

That explains why I waited so long at the bottom…

Scott: How long was that you waited about? Seriously?

About a minute.

Scott: Well, I could have made you wait 10 minutes.

Then we went to Threave Castle.

Scott: Oh yeah.

Was that fun?

Scott: Oh yeah.

What did you like best?

Scott: The boat ride.

And ringing the bell to get the boat?

Scott: Wrong – we didn’t ring the bell to get the boat or anything.

It was just a cheeky we ring at the end.

Scott: Yeah.

Holiday…

Due to a lack of wi-fi, we’re having to blog in chunks when we do manage to find a connection…

27-7-2012

Scott: What are we going to talk about?

Well, we’re on holiday…

Scott: Yeah.

How’s your first day been?

Scott: It’s not my first day.

What is it?

Scott: Eh… Hang on, counting…Seven… Five… Three… 21st day.

I don’t understand.

Scott: You don’t understand if you put all the time we’ve been here together that’s three… a total of 21…

21 what?

Scott: 21 days here – duh.

In total?

Scott: Yeah – duh.

More than that actually, I think.

Scott: Oh… 14 and eight… How many weeks have we been here forever? Ever?

I can’t remember – this is the fifth time, I think.

Scott: Fifth week… So 21 times seven… I mean, hang on – seven times three is 21?

Yes it is.

Scott: And then… Add on 14… 21… Add on 14… Is it… (pause) 35?

Yes, it is. Are you having a good holiday so far?

Scott: Yeah, but I just can’t do anything right today. But you’ve got us a ticket each for the night of a 1000 millionaires. What happens when you win the Lottery? Do you go on the TV or something? 100 UK millionaires in one day…

You might find out tomorrow…

Scott: Eh… We won’t.

Helen: Imagine a Mummy bought a Lottery ticket for a baby and the next day the baby won.

Scott: That’s not funny.

Helen: Ga ga goo goo.

Scott: And the baby bought a big bag of rubbish with the money…

Helen: And he did a big smelly poo! Silly baby!

28-7-2012

So many exciting things happened today, Scott forgot he also did a bungee trampoline…

Our first full day – how was it?

Scott: Good.

What did we do?

Scott: We… Eh… (huge pause) Yeah?

What did we do?

Scott: Oh! We went top Cream O Galloway… Eh…

How was it?

Scott: Good.

What did you do?

Scott: Em… Had an ice cream.

Anything else?

Scott: Eh… Played in the hard play and that’s probably all. Apart from Helen getting a ginormous nosebleed.

We also went shopping in Castle Douglas.

Scott: Yeah.

Did you get anything?

Scott: A really big bag of Lego Bionicle for £3, with all the instructions booklets.

Was that the best bit of today?

Scott: Yeah.

Did you have anything nice to eat?

Scott: Eh… What did we have again? Oh yeah – I liked my pie.

What kind was it?

Scott: Eh… I don’t know, I forgot.

You seem really tired…

Scott: (inaudible)

I think you should head to bed…

Scott: Hey – I thought you said you would build some Bionicle figures? You told a lie! True. Build me some Bionicle figures. Let’s just finish, this blog is humiliating enough…

29-7-2012

So, this morning we watched some Olympics…

Scott: Yeah.

Then we went to Caerlaverock Castle…

Scott: Yeah.

Where we had a picnic…

Scott: Yeah.

And what did we do?

Scott: I got a crossbow – or a bow and arrow, or whatever you call it.

You did something with other children.

Scott: Child-ren.

That’s what I said.

Scott: I know. How? What? When?

What did you do?

Scott: What did I do?

You had that big fight?

Scott: Oh yeah! That was awesome!

You fought a girl.

Scott: Yeah – and even a photo of it, if you please.

Then we went to Cream O Galloway again.

Scott: Yeah.

What kind of ice cream did you have today?

Scott: Chocolate.

Was it good?

Scott: Yeah.

Then you played with Cameron next door.

Scott: Yeah.

How was that?

Scott: Great.

Are you going to try and see him tomorrow?

Scott: I’d like to get a portable DVD played like he does.

What would you do with it?

Scott: Watch movies on it – duh. I mean, seriously – duh.

30-7-2012

What did we do today?

Scott: Eh… We just had another day on Planet Earth.

Helen: You mean on the Douglas Day?

Scott: Oh, you’re such a pain Helen.

What was the best bit of today?

Scott: Eh… Probably walking to the island.

Helen: Probably finding all those creatures.

What creatures?

Helen: The ones that we could on our own, all those ones.

When we went pond dipping?

Helen: Yeah.

What did we catch?

Helen: Green eary-wigs.

Then we came home for lunch, then we went to Cream O Galloway for their special Gala Day.

Helen: Yeah.

And what did we do there?

Scott: We went pond dipping again.

Helen: And got ice cream.

Scott: Yeah, yeah – I went on the death cannon and three times I went on the flying fox.

How was the flying fox?

Scott: Awesome.

How was the death slide?

Scott: Really good.

Even though you thought it was scary?

Scott: I really liked it, now I look back at it. I went “wooooo” for about one second, then I was at the bottom. I mean, it literally seemed like one second – I nearly peed in my pants.

Then we went to Carrick beach and walked across to the island.

Scott: Yeah – I thought I said that, didn’t I?

So you liked it, even though you didn’t want to do it?

Scott: Em… Yeah.

31-7-2012

How was today?

Scott: Okay. It was good…

What was the best bit?

Scott: Em… I’m not sure there was a best bit, it was all great.

So, we went to Kirkcudbright…

Scott: Yeah.

We went to the Castle…

Scott: Did we?

Then we…

Scott: Yeah.

Then we went to the Stewartry Museum…

Scott: Have you put that sticker on your computer yet? Yes, we did go to the museum.

Then we went and had fish and chips.

Scott: Yeah.

How was that?

Scott: Em… Good.

Then we went to the wildlife park.

Scott: Yeah.

What did we do there?

Scott: Saw some animals.

Did you touch any?

Scott: Yeah. I touch a few guinea pigs and held a snake round my neck.

Were you scared?

Scott: Nope.

Did it not try to strangle you?

Scott: Well, I’m alive right now… (under breath) That’s a pretty dumb question…

We played Dictionary – and you and Mummy beat me and Helen.

Scott: Yeah – ha ha ha…

Holiday Part 4

Day 11 – 1-8-2011

Scott with one of the many baterpillars we found.

Today we went to Carrick beach and Cream O Galloway.

Helen: No, we went to the farm – it was McDonald the farm.

Helen, why do you always say we go to a farm?

Scott: It’s so funny.

Helen: Because… Eh… Eh… Cream O Galloway is a farm.

Scott: Why did you say it when we were in the place with a hut? We weren’t at a farm then.

Helen: Yes, we were. We went on Tuesday, Scotty Wotsit.

Scott: I’m not a Wotsit.

At the beach, we found some special creatures – what were they?

Helen: Max the horse?

Scott: What are they called?

Helen: Fish?

Shrimps?

Scott: Yes, I caught a shrimp all by myself – if any of you readers are amazed, please leave a comment.

That was amazing, but it’s not what I was thinking of – they were black and white and wriggly.

Scott: I know – the baterpillars.

What were they like?

Scott: They were bee coloured, but they were caterpillars – they were baterpillars.

Were they cute?

Helen: Yes, they were.

Day 12 – 2-8-2011

Another day, another creature. Just wait until you see what kind of creature we were playing with today (Wednesday)...

This morning, we went pond dipping near the cottage, then went to the Chocolate Factory and then Mummy ran in the Gatehouse of Fleet 10k. So…

Scott: In pond dipping, I caught a newt all by myself.

Helen: Mummy caught three frogs with her bare hands.

Was catching the newt exciting?

Scott: Very.

Helen: Not.

What was the newt like?

Scott: At first, I thought it was a water snake, but then when you came along you told me it was a newt so I knew. It was so nice – I held it and we did a nice picture when it was peering out… Nice for a picture.

And then we caught those little scorpion things.

Scott: Yeah, yeah – Daddy you forgot very first things we caught – two boatmen. They live underwater.

They were quite easy to catch, though.

Scott: Daddy, newts are almost impossible.

That’s why I said I would give you a reward for catching one all by yourself.

Scott: (big smile)

Holiday Part 2

You really have no idea how elusive wi-fi is to find in Cumbria and Dumfries and Galloway! But Cream O Galloway, already our favourite place ever with its combination of glorious organic ice cream and loads of kiddie fun, came up trumps. So we can finally update the blog…

Day 5 – 26-7-2011

Scott and Helen at the Puzzling Place in Keswick. Daddy felt queasy.

We went to the Puzzling Place in Keswick, had lunch, then went swimming and then went to a family fun night at Talkin Tarn – what was your highlight?

Scott: Puzzling place.

Helen: I liked… Where did we go, Daddy? Yeah, I know – the flumes. That’s what was the highlight of my day.

Tell me about the Puzzle Place.

Scott: It was the world of illusions. Let’s say… The non-gravity room, unique in the UK. There’s a ball at the bottom of the soccer table, which goes downhill and the ball goes up.

Helen: Anti-gravity – I liked when the seat floated up.

I felt really sick in the room.

Helen: I didn’t.

Scott: I felt a bit strange – as thought I was the only real person in the world of gravity strange.

Helen: Me too – the only person in the universe.

You liked the dripping water that floated up.

Scott: Yeah.

Helen: Yeah, me too.

And there was the room that made us look different sizes.

Scott: Yeah.

Helen: Yeah. What?

Scott: Can I do a drawing for this blog?

Of course…

Scott's drawing of the Puzzling Place. Makes more sense than the real thing...

Day 6 – 27-7-2011

Chucking big rocks into the river at Lanercost - we then dipped our feet into the water to cool down.

Helen: It was too sunny!

But we had a fun day. Morning in Brampton for the market and some shopping, home for lunch, afternoon at Lanercost Priory for the craft fair and then a wander down to the river to chuck in some big rocks and paddle. Did you have fun?

Scott: Yeah.

What was the best thing about today?

Scott: I won the tombola.

Helen: Goodest is… I don’t know what.

What did you win at the tombola?

Scott: I won an old bag – an old stinky poo bag.

Helen: And I won some soap.

You didn’t win anything, Helen.

Helen: Yes I did. Yes I did, Daddy. I did win…

Scott: A few bottle-tops…

Helen: And I won this (holds up shampoo bottle).

Did Helen win anything, Scott?

Scott: No.

Helen: Yes.

So, what was the best thing about today?

Scott: I told you: winning the tombola.

Helen: Yes, me too – I won.

Scott (exasperated): No, you didn’t.

Day 7 – 28-7-2011

Eden Ostrich Farm water walking. Not random words, but what we did today.

Today we went to Eden Ostrich Farm. I thought it was fantastic – what did you think?

Helen: Too good.

Scott: I loved it.

Helen: It was too good, wasn’t it?

What was the best bit?

Helen: Feeding the goats.

Scott: My favourite bit was when the mouse pooed on Helen’s hand.

Helen: My favourite bit was when the bunnies were getting stroked.

So, out of all the fantastic things we saw and did today, your favourite bit was a mouse pooing on Helen?

Scott: Yeah.

Really?

Scott: Well… Well… I just couldn’t decide, so I took something I liked. Water walking…

What about water walking?

Scott: I just said it was.

So that was the best part of the day?

Scott: Hmm… Well… Anyone want to know what my favourite enemy thing was?

What’s an enemy thing?

Scott: My least favourite thing was when I fell and cut my knee.

Helen: Fell and cut your knee?

Something funny happened right after that.

Scott: Yes, the goat ate my whole bag of food, even the bag – I will call it Baddest!

I know it was bad, but it was quite funny.

Scott: (long pause)

Come on, it was funny.

Scott: (long pause) I’m thinking…

Oh, forget it.

Scott: (long pause) I’m still thinking… (long pause) What was the question?

Wasn’t the goat eating all the food funny?

Scott: Sort of. I’d have been in hysterics if it had eaten your ear.

Helen: So would I.

Scott: Who would have been laughing then?

Helen: I would.

Day 8 – 29-7-2011

Dinner outside with chickens pecking around. Not as idyllic as it sounds - the chicken did a big poo.

We’ve now left Brampton and are in Castle Douglas.

Scott: You should take a picture of this place it’s so good – it’s like a posh hotel.

Are you glad to be here?

Scott: Maximum the horse.

Helen: Max the horse. What’s the highlight of today?

Scott: Max the horse.

Helen: Mine is Archie.

What did we do today after we left Brampton?

Scott: The highlight of my day was actually going to the toy shop.

What was so good about it?

Scott: It had Lego Cad Bane.

And we went to the cinema, to see Cars 2.

Scott: We watched Cars 300.

Helen: We watched Cars Infinity.

How was the film?

Helen: Max the horse.

Scott: GR8.

Helen: Max the horse, Daddy.

Don’t you think Cars 2 was a bit rubbish?

Scott: I’ll never think that!

What are you looking forward to doing in Castle Douglas?

Scott: (singing) We’re off to Cream O Galloway for the best ice cream in the world tra la la la la. You’re quite a sundae driver, aren’t you?

Day 9 – 30-7-2011

Scott was quite excited to see the Batmobile at the Douglas Day Parade (please don't tell him that it may not have been the real Batmobile).

Okay, okay – tell me a joke each. Who’s first?

Helen: Knock knock. You say: “Who’s there?” Daddy, you say: “Who’s there?” silly.

Who’s there?

Helen: Eh… Soap.

Soap who?

Helen: Bottle. Let me in, it’s time for tea I’ve got a headache.

Scott: Knock knock?

Who’s there?

Scott: (to himself) I’ve forgotten. Eh… Eh… It’s not a knock knock joke… Oh… Which of Fury’s sides is the furriest?

I don’t know.

Scott: The outside.

So, we went to Castle Douglas for some shopping, home for lunch, then back into Castle Douglas for the Douglas Day parade and fair and then off to Cream O Galloway. What was the best bit?

Helen: Having ice cream.

What about you, Scott?

Scott: (singing) We’re off to Cream O Galloway for the best ice cream in the world tra la la la la la.

What did we see at the parade?

Helen: Nothing.

Scott: We saw a lot of things like some old cranky cars and the smallest van in the world.

And we saw the Batmobile.

Scott: Yeah, the Batmobile. (Singing) Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away, Hey!

What else did we do at Cream O Galloway apart from eat ice cream?

Scott: We played outside on their play things.