Back home

Tell me how your short holiday was, then.

Scott: Yeah – it was okay.

Just okay?

Scott: Yeah, I’d say that. Probably just… Yeah, okay.

What was the best bit?

Scott: Em… Probably Cream O Galloway.

What did you do there?

Scott: Got ice cream, played, went on the flying fox, went on the giant toilet roll tube…

Was the death slide scary?

Scott: Yeah – it was pure evil. I must have gone down it at 60 miles an hour.

But it was fun?

Scott: That would be a new mode of travel.

People travelling by toilet roll tube?

Scott: Oh, come on – if you made it comfortable, it would be worth it. It would be like trains, basically – except way faster. Except it would all have to be downhill, apart from a wee three metres.

You caught newts, too.

Scott:Yeah, that was great.

How many did you catch?

Helen: We caught nine the second time.

Scott: And I’d say I caught five. And you’re not in this blog, Helen – remember?

That’s much more than I’ve ever caught.

Scott: You haven’t caught any at all, Bub.

Did I not catch one?

Scott: Well, no – that was the one I caught.

And you were at a water park today.

Scott: Yeah.

Fun?

Scott: Yeah.

And you had fish and chips?

Scott: Yeah.

How was that?

Scott: Really good.

And you went to the Museum.

Scott: Did I? Oh yeah…

So marks out of 10 for the trip?

Scott: Eh… Nine.

Wow, that’s high.

Scott: It would have been 10 if it wasn’t for that death slide.

And we go away on proper family holiday in nine days.

Scott: Yeah!

Holiday…

Due to a lack of wi-fi, we’re having to blog in chunks when we do manage to find a connection…

27-7-2012

Scott: What are we going to talk about?

Well, we’re on holiday…

Scott: Yeah.

How’s your first day been?

Scott: It’s not my first day.

What is it?

Scott: Eh… Hang on, counting…Seven… Five… Three… 21st day.

I don’t understand.

Scott: You don’t understand if you put all the time we’ve been here together that’s three… a total of 21…

21 what?

Scott: 21 days here – duh.

In total?

Scott: Yeah – duh.

More than that actually, I think.

Scott: Oh… 14 and eight… How many weeks have we been here forever? Ever?

I can’t remember – this is the fifth time, I think.

Scott: Fifth week… So 21 times seven… I mean, hang on – seven times three is 21?

Yes it is.

Scott: And then… Add on 14… 21… Add on 14… Is it… (pause) 35?

Yes, it is. Are you having a good holiday so far?

Scott: Yeah, but I just can’t do anything right today. But you’ve got us a ticket each for the night of a 1000 millionaires. What happens when you win the Lottery? Do you go on the TV or something? 100 UK millionaires in one day…

You might find out tomorrow…

Scott: Eh… We won’t.

Helen: Imagine a Mummy bought a Lottery ticket for a baby and the next day the baby won.

Scott: That’s not funny.

Helen: Ga ga goo goo.

Scott: And the baby bought a big bag of rubbish with the money…

Helen: And he did a big smelly poo! Silly baby!

28-7-2012

So many exciting things happened today, Scott forgot he also did a bungee trampoline…

Our first full day – how was it?

Scott: Good.

What did we do?

Scott: We… Eh… (huge pause) Yeah?

What did we do?

Scott: Oh! We went top Cream O Galloway… Eh…

How was it?

Scott: Good.

What did you do?

Scott: Em… Had an ice cream.

Anything else?

Scott: Eh… Played in the hard play and that’s probably all. Apart from Helen getting a ginormous nosebleed.

We also went shopping in Castle Douglas.

Scott: Yeah.

Did you get anything?

Scott: A really big bag of Lego Bionicle for £3, with all the instructions booklets.

Was that the best bit of today?

Scott: Yeah.

Did you have anything nice to eat?

Scott: Eh… What did we have again? Oh yeah – I liked my pie.

What kind was it?

Scott: Eh… I don’t know, I forgot.

You seem really tired…

Scott: (inaudible)

I think you should head to bed…

Scott: Hey – I thought you said you would build some Bionicle figures? You told a lie! True. Build me some Bionicle figures. Let’s just finish, this blog is humiliating enough…

29-7-2012

So, this morning we watched some Olympics…

Scott: Yeah.

Then we went to Caerlaverock Castle…

Scott: Yeah.

Where we had a picnic…

Scott: Yeah.

And what did we do?

Scott: I got a crossbow – or a bow and arrow, or whatever you call it.

You did something with other children.

Scott: Child-ren.

That’s what I said.

Scott: I know. How? What? When?

What did you do?

Scott: What did I do?

You had that big fight?

Scott: Oh yeah! That was awesome!

You fought a girl.

Scott: Yeah – and even a photo of it, if you please.

Then we went to Cream O Galloway again.

Scott: Yeah.

What kind of ice cream did you have today?

Scott: Chocolate.

Was it good?

Scott: Yeah.

Then you played with Cameron next door.

Scott: Yeah.

How was that?

Scott: Great.

Are you going to try and see him tomorrow?

Scott: I’d like to get a portable DVD played like he does.

What would you do with it?

Scott: Watch movies on it – duh. I mean, seriously – duh.

30-7-2012

What did we do today?

Scott: Eh… We just had another day on Planet Earth.

Helen: You mean on the Douglas Day?

Scott: Oh, you’re such a pain Helen.

What was the best bit of today?

Scott: Eh… Probably walking to the island.

Helen: Probably finding all those creatures.

What creatures?

Helen: The ones that we could on our own, all those ones.

When we went pond dipping?

Helen: Yeah.

What did we catch?

Helen: Green eary-wigs.

Then we came home for lunch, then we went to Cream O Galloway for their special Gala Day.

Helen: Yeah.

And what did we do there?

Scott: We went pond dipping again.

Helen: And got ice cream.

Scott: Yeah, yeah – I went on the death cannon and three times I went on the flying fox.

How was the flying fox?

Scott: Awesome.

How was the death slide?

Scott: Really good.

Even though you thought it was scary?

Scott: I really liked it, now I look back at it. I went “wooooo” for about one second, then I was at the bottom. I mean, it literally seemed like one second – I nearly peed in my pants.

Then we went to Carrick beach and walked across to the island.

Scott: Yeah – I thought I said that, didn’t I?

So you liked it, even though you didn’t want to do it?

Scott: Em… Yeah.

31-7-2012

How was today?

Scott: Okay. It was good…

What was the best bit?

Scott: Em… I’m not sure there was a best bit, it was all great.

So, we went to Kirkcudbright…

Scott: Yeah.

We went to the Castle…

Scott: Did we?

Then we…

Scott: Yeah.

Then we went to the Stewartry Museum…

Scott: Have you put that sticker on your computer yet? Yes, we did go to the museum.

Then we went and had fish and chips.

Scott: Yeah.

How was that?

Scott: Em… Good.

Then we went to the wildlife park.

Scott: Yeah.

What did we do there?

Scott: Saw some animals.

Did you touch any?

Scott: Yeah. I touch a few guinea pigs and held a snake round my neck.

Were you scared?

Scott: Nope.

Did it not try to strangle you?

Scott: Well, I’m alive right now… (under breath) That’s a pretty dumb question…

We played Dictionary – and you and Mummy beat me and Helen.

Scott: Yeah – ha ha ha…

Holiday

So we’re going on holiday tomorrow…

Scott: Yeah.

Are you looking forward to it?

Scott: Yeah.

What’s the best bit?

Scott: Going on holiday! Going on holiday!

Yes, but what’s the best bit?

Scott: Okay… Eh… Getting ice cream, catching newts… Seeing the horses – I’m not sure.

Hanging out with your family?

Scott: No, I can do that anytime – so not really, I could say.

You don’t like the car journey.

Scott: No, I had it… Maybe the Rumblin’ Tum?

Rumblin’ Tum may be one of the best bits?

Scott: Yeah… What colour is the Rumblin’ Tum?

Brown, I think.

Scott: Brown? I remember it being a shade of beige. Hey, I can sit in the front…

What will you have for lunch at the Rumblin’ Tum?

Scott: Eh… I just don’t know.

But we usually go to the sweet shop afterwards.

Scott: Yeah.

What kind of sweets will you want?

Scott: I don’t know, because I know there’s quite a lot. How long does it take to get to the Rumblin’ Tum?

About two hours.

Scott: Oh. Three hours all the way there, right?

Yep.

Scott: Did you see that means three hours in total or five hours in total?

Three hours in total.

Scott: Yes!

Are you looking forward to hanging out with Helen?

Scott: No – I’m so not looking forward to it.

Why not?

Scott: You know we don’t like each other…

Holiday

The Rumblin' Tum in Moffat - our favourite ever place to eat lunch on route between Edinburgh and Dumfries and Galloway.

Scott: Daddy, keep this bit private from the blog… (spots Daddy writing) Keep this bit private from the blog. I’m going to take away the pen to ensure… (grabs pen so we can have a private discussion)

So, you want to talk about holiday?

Scott: Okay.

We go on holiday tomorrow for two weeks.

Helen: To the Rumblin’ Tum – it’s a tum which rumbles and you can eat your food in it.

Scott: I don’t know why you would eat your food in a tum.

Helen: It goes into your tummy, into the brain and feet.

So we go on holiday tomorrow.

Scott: Yes, I know we are going on holiday. (sings in a squeaky voice) Take your brain to another dimension, take your brain to another dimension…

Helen: (sings in squeaky voice) Come up and see me.

Scott: (sings in squeaky voice) Take my brain to another dimension.

Are you looking forward to going on holiday?

Helen: No!

Scott: Yeah.

What are you looking forward to?

Helen: Because we like to be in a tummy.

Scott: Because there’s a sweetie shop and we’re going to the Rumbling Tum.

Helen: I wonder what the Rumblin’ Tum is like? Daddy, is the Rumblin’ Tum in real life?