Jetpack Joyride

What are we blogging about, then?

Helen: I don’t know.

You’ve usually got ideas.

Helen: Don’t have one.

You got any ideas, Scott?

Scott: Eh… Not really.

Anything exciting…

Scott: Mushrooms. Not really…

Mushrooms, Helen?

Helen: Eh… Why mushrooms?

Scott decided.

Helen: Aha – Scott.

Scott: What?

Helen: What’s your worst favourite game? That’s not what we’re blogging about.

Scott: Instead of mushrooms, how about Jetpack Joyride?

Helen: Okay, but I’ll change it.

Scott: You can’t – it’s my blog.

Helen: Okay.

Jetpack Joyride?

Scott: Yeah.

Helen: I hate a joyride. I hate a ride that makes you feel joy.

Scott: It makes you happy – why do you hate it?

Helen: I do.

Scott: I should make you sad, then.

What do you do in the game?

Scott: You just… You just try and survive as long as possible in crazy, scientist-filled hallways.

Helen: The crazy scientists actually built that.

Scott: How?

Helen: Don’t you understand scientists made everything. Scientists made us.

Scott: No – nature made us.

Helen: How?

Scott: Okay… Once upon a time, the world was created. The world was so perfect, but bugs appeared and were eventually turned into humans.

Helen: Why did that happen?

Scott: Ask the scientists.

Helen: Scientists – how did that happen?

Is it a good game?

Scott: It’s a good game, but I’m pretty bad at it.

Helen: Daddy, my favourite item is…

Scott: You mean cog?

Helen: I mean cog. My favourite cog is Crazy Hog.

Scott: Mine is Crazy Freaking Teleporter.

Marks out of 10?

Scott: Nine and a half. It could have earned that little half by making coins slightly easier to grab.

Helen: Five.

Scott: What?!

Mushrooms and smurfs

A mushroom/toadstool and a Smurf posing together especially for this blog...

Scott: Mushrooms?

Okay, as long as you don’t use it as a sneaky way to talk about Mario…

Helen: Can I talk about Smurfs too?

Okay, but I’ll talk to Scott first – what are mushrooms?

Scott: Mushrooms are like… They’re like little umbrellas and usually grow in darkish caverny places and they can sometimes be poisonous.

Helen: And sometimes they can’t.

Scott: Sometimes if you buy them, they might still be poisonous.

Helen: Buy little mushroom seeds and plant them in the ground.

Scott: And you’d plant them everywhere, and we’d die because your foot would eat them: “nom nom nom.”

What do mushrooms taste like?

Helen: Yucky.

Scott: Great and mushy.

Helen: No, they taste yucky – they’d explode you.

Scott: Will they? How come you’ve tried them?

Helen: If you get mushrooms in your oaxters, they’re not the kind you stomp on.

Scott: If you had mushrooms for dinner and stomped on them, that would be funny.

Helen: And you would get an electric toe.

What’s the biggest mushroom in the world?

Scott: I don’t know? 50 feet?

And what’s the smallest?

Scott: One centimetre.

Helen, what do you want to tell me about the Smurfs?

Helen: La la la la la la la la la la la…

Scott: Seriously, what do you want to tell him?

Helen: La la la la la la la la la la la…

Scott: I know what you want to tell him.

What do you think it is?

Scott: She saw it in the cinema. She likes it. She has McDonald’s toys for it. And so on.

Helen: Not toys.

Scott: Yes, you do.

Helen: No, cuddlies. Cinema cuddlies, more like.