Yesterday, there was an angry debate about whether animals could actually talk, so Daddy turned to the most reliable of sources, the internet, to prove he was right…
Scott: Okay, now I believe you. Okay, now I believe you. I thought the dog who said ‘sausages’ was funny.
Helen: I thought the parrot was funny. Daddy, I liked the parrot.
So do you believe animals can talk?
Helen: No.
Scott: Now I do.
Helen: Now I do, but I didn’t.
So what do you think?
Scott: Now I think they exist and I think they’re quite silly. One went: “Talk to me.”
What creature?
Scott: A… Bird… And I like the one that had sound effects.
So can animals talk?
Scott: No no no no no no.
Helen: Well, a parrot can’t.
A parrot can’t?
Helen: No.
Why not?
Helen: Because they’ve not got a mouth.
Scott: Yes, they do have, to say: “twit twoo.”
What do parrots have instead of mouths?
Helen: Beaks.
Can all animals talk?
Scott: I just said: no.
What animals can talk?
Scott: Parrots. A few dogs can… it’s especially birds that can.
And what animals can’t?
Scott: A few dogs can’t. Rhinos and dinosaurs etc etc.
Can any humans not talk?
Scott: Dumb ones can’t. Dumb is a word for can’t speak. Some humans can’t speak, yes.